By Nadia Moehle<\/strong><\/p>\n Gerald\u2019s talking dog loves cherries. That\u2019s all he ever talks about. So when Gerald took his dog, Mont, on a trip to the world\u2019s cherry capital, Mont just about lost his mind.<\/p>\n At the baggage claim Gerald almost regretted the trip as Mont chatted with everyone about cherries: seeing a genuine tree, the favorable cultivars, the authenticity of red, historical cherry moments, and how Mont is short for Montmorency. Gerald feeling empathetic for Mont\u2019s spectators, wrangled Mont with a pair of cherry sunglasses, and hit the road.<\/p>\n After sightseeing they ended the day at a brewery. Seated at the bar Mont had a fit learning that the establishment made cherry beer. Gerald hastily ordered some to keep the dog quiet. Mont lapped up the entire pint without taking a breath, his eyes crossed a little.<\/p>\n \u201cYou okay old boy?\u201d Gerald asked, realizing too late that Mont never had alcohol before.<\/p>\n \u201cFine,\u201d the dog steadied himself on the bar.<\/p>\n With a slurred voice Mont addressed the brewery and everyone hushed. \u201cI cannot tell a lie.\u201d<\/p>\n The dog hopped onto the bar. \u201cYou all need to listen to me.\u201d He tried to look everyone in the eye at once.<\/p>\n \u201cI told a lie, to you Gerald,\u201d he pointed at Gerald with an accusatory paw. Mont continued, \u201cGeorge Washington, didn\u2019t cut down the cherry tree.\u201d<\/p>\n With his confession finished Mont climbed ungracefully down from the bar, using Gerald\u2019s head for leverage. \u201cI\u2019ll have another beer, bar man.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMont, don\u2019t, your drunk.\u201d Gerald said.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t act like you are better than me because I\u2019m in the habit of sniffing crotches. I can\u2019t help it! Do you no how hard it is for me?\u201d<\/p>\n Gerald subtly put his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. But a small chuckle escaped when the dog tried, unsuccessfully, to sip his beer.<\/p>\n \u201cThis reminds me of quote,\u201d Mont said to the empty stool next to him. \u201cAlcohol when taken in sufficient quantities may produce all the affects of drunkenness,\u201d Mont exercised his pedantic nature, \u201cdid you know? Oscar Wilde said that.\u201d<\/p>\n Mont turned abruptly, coming in much too close to Gerald, and said, \u201cI\u2019m going to sing a song.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, please don\u2019t,\u201d Gerald pleaded.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re the one who bought me this beer my dear Gerald!\u201d the dog cried out. \u201cSo it\u2019s only right that I sing you a song.\u201d<\/p>\n Mont wobbled over to the piano, plopped himself down on the bench, and played a scale to warm up. The audience settled in their \u201cWhy are we here? Where are we going?\u201d sang Mont, and quite well for an inebriated dog, \u201cit’s time that we found out we’re not here to stay; we’re on a short holiday.\u201d<\/p>\n Surrendering, Gerald downed his beer, and joined in.<\/p>\n \u201cLife is just a bowl of cherries,\u201d they sang. \u201cSo live and laugh at it all.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Gerald\u2019s talking dog loves cherries. That\u2019s all he ever talks about. 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\nseats to listen.<\/p>\n