{"id":1392,"date":"2015-12-15T14:29:50","date_gmt":"2015-12-15T19:29:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/?p=1392"},"modified":"2015-12-15T14:58:57","modified_gmt":"2015-12-15T19:58:57","slug":"geralds-talking-dog-essay-contest-2014-second-place","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/geralds-talking-dog-essay-contest-2014-second-place\/","title":{"rendered":"Gerald\u2019s Talking Dog Essay Contest 2015: Second Place"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Doug Sanders<\/strong>
\nGerald’s Talking Dog loves cherries. That’s all he talks about.<\/p>\n

Of course, he doesn\u2019t call them \u201ccherries.\u201d They\u2019re \u201cBings,\u201d which is his favorite word.
\n\u201cBing me,\u201d he says when he wants some cherries in his bowl or a swig of juice. \u201cBing!\u201d he shouts when he drops his business in the side yard or \u201cBing yeah!\u201d when he successfully sends a squirrel skittering into the trees out back.<\/p>\n

I was mystified at his love for cherries \u2026 Bings \u2026 from the moment he first trotted in to my brewpub, hopped up on a stool and sat studying the menu. Pork chops I could understand or granola cookies with liver and bacon like the ones they sell at The Pampered Pooch boutique a block up from the pub.
\nBut, cherries?<\/p>\n

It couldn\u2019t be the taste. And, given what we know about canine eyesight, it couldn\u2019t be the color. His vet tells me he wouldn\u2019t know a Royal Ranier from a Benzie Blue.
\nAs you can imagine, I\u2019ve given this much thought, and I think he simply loves the sound of the word, \u201cBing.\u201d
\nWho doesn\u2019t?<\/p>\n

\u201cI see you sell a libation with some Bing in it, m\u2019boy,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll have one of those.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA what with what?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat Belgian rye dubbel, the one with the Michigan Bings in it.\u201d<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have the heart to tell him we don\u2019t use Bing cherries to make that brew, but frankly, at that moment, I wasn\u2019t sure of anything. I was talking to a dog, after all, and he was talking back in a gravelly baritone, doing a comically bad impression of Edward G. Robinson.<\/p>\n

I rallied.<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst of all, dogs shouldn\u2019t be drinking booze,\u201d I said. \u201cAnd second of all, I have no idea how old you are. We have laws around here about underage drinking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cM\u2019boy,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve been tossing back suds since Jimmy Carter got his first hammer. Haven\u2019t slowed down yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how do you plan to pay for it?\u201d I asked, certain I had him.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell you what,\u201d he said. \u201cI see you have live music in your fine establishment. You put me on for a couple of hot ditties and you\u2019ll have \u2018em lined up down the sidewalk all the way to the beach. Guaranteed. Just keep me in Bings and an occasional mug o\u2019froth and I\u2019ll make it worth your while ten times over.\u201d<\/p>\n

He had a point.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s how that dog came to stay.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the same repertoire every Saturday night.<\/p>\n

He recites William Matthews\u2019 \u201cHomer’s Seeing-Eye Dog,\u201d follows it with Three Dog Night\u2019s \u201cJoy to the World,\u201d then brings down the house with, \u201cThere was a Farmer Had a Dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

When I rub his ears and tell him \u201cgood boy\u201d after he skips off the stage to rafter-shaking applause, he always says, \u201cIt don\u2019t mean a thing if it ain\u2019t got that Bing, m\u2019boy. Now how about an encore mug and a bowl? Care to join me?\u201d<\/p>\n

See all the winning submissions from current and past entries here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Doug Sanders Gerald’s Talking Dog loves cherries. That’s all he talks about. Of course, he doesn\u2019t call them \u201ccherries.\u201d They\u2019re \u201cBings,\u201d which is his favorite word. \u201cBing me,\u201d he says when he wants some cherries in his bowl or a swig of juice. \u201cBing!\u201d he shouts when he drops his business in the side […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":1386,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Gerald\u2019s Talking Dog Essay Contest 2014: Second Place http:\/\/wp.me\/p3TDCr-ms","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[46,171,41,1],"tags":[188],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/geralds-talking-dog.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3TDCr-ms","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1392"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1413,"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392\/revisions\/1413"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/betsiecurrent.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}